4th of July

Bonjour tout le monde! Hello Everyone!

It has been a day with it’s ups and downs to be sure. Some exciting cultural immersion, and some integration frustration. Let’s talk about the frustration part first. I have had some trouble adapting to food here.  I haven’t been sick, but I often feel a little off and don’t have much appetite as I am adjusting to new food, and a new life here. I am starting to think my stomach has a mind of it’s own. Even though I’m eating things I like, for example rice, chicken, tomato sauce, or hard boiled eggs, my stomach just can’t be convinced that it wants this stuff. It’s good to remember that when I was in Hawaii, no matter how much I ate I was still hungry, finally when I made some brownies I started feeling full. It wasn’t that I was not getting enough to eat, just that my stomach was anxious (if you will). I think the same thing is happening here, where my stomach is nervous that anything new could be bad. Stop being such a drama queen stomach!

In the mean time I have been anxious about offending my host mama, who probably spends an hour to an hour and a half preparing dinner every night. She also doles out big portions. Fortunately, other peace corps volunteers, and my fascilitators, continue to be supportive, encouraging me to talk to her about any sanitation concerns or different preferences. My host Mama herself has been very patient, accepting, and accommodating. The family seems to have been well prepared for us (and seems to be pretty kind and considerate to begin with!).

Ok, over to exciting cultural immersion: On days when we have language class all day we break up the day by walking around and talking to people in the neighborhood, usually students who have a break between classes at the nearby high school. Today I wound up chatting with a group of maybe 10 Beninese teenage boys, who were encouraged by my fascilitator to ask me questions. They did a good job. We talked about the founding of our countries (happy 4^th btw) and my work with the Peace Corps, and our differing school systems. I also received an offer to be someone’s girlfriend (no marriage proposals yet though), was asked if I had any kids, and was asked if American men with long hair have to use women’s shampoo. I thought the last one was particularly funny. It was great to get to joke around with them. We were told that men in Benin can be very jokingly flirtatious, and people also expect that by the old age of 23 you would have a family, so I was sort of ready for both of those questions. I deflected the later by asking if any of them had any kids. They laughed and joked that they had about 5 each. Like I said, it was nice to joke around with people.

After class I rested a bit and wallowed in my grumpy stomach-ness. But after journaling and listening to some American music, I got up and jumped into the fray. My host mama is being really cool about explaining to me her recipes and cooking methods. I am glad to learn. Even though I have a little more trouble understanding her than my host papa, I feel at home talking recipes and ingredients. I’m eager to be fully helping cooking stuff. I also learned that she, awesomely enough, is going through the arduous process of bleaching and rinsing vegetables so they are super safe to eat. So, again, she is really great.

For dinner we had some salad (super clean salad even) and Pate Blanc which is basically flour and water, mixed to an almost mashed potato consistency, with a sauce that was part tomato sauce, and part clinclin, a local green which has a lot of beneficial properties. I tried to really give myself credit and just ate as much as I wanted (around a fistful of pate blanc) even though everyone else had heaping plates of it. I am pretty sure they have been told Americans sometimes take weird small portions. My stomach was pretty happy afterwards.

After that we watched soap operas for a while, and I showed my oldest host sister , Onelia, how to knit. It’s tough getting started, but it was fun to get to teach her.

Tomorrow, perhaps some internet!

Thinking about you guys all the time, I hope all is well with you and yours.

With Love,

Lauren

Biking the streets of Porto Novo

** I wrote this post on Tuesday, July 3rd**

Hi Everyone,

Wow, what a day! I get the feeling I’m just beginning to understand the meaning of tired.

Today we had informational classes for all the Peace Corps volunteers. It was so nice to see everyone and just be in a group of ‘fellow Americans’. Classes however, were a little bit trying. During orientation, the first two days or so in Benin, organization and effective planning wasn’t really the strongest point. I don’t think there was a single hand out that successfully made it to all of us on the first attempt. That didn’t really bother me though. Everyone doesn’t need to be as task-accomplishment-oriented as Americans, and I wasn’t in a particular hurry.

Today things were different. I was anxious to get my cell phone and I was also anxious about the health briefing. Between being in an unfamiliar context, a tropical location, and a country without many amenities like refrigeration, there is a lot to be vigilant about. I was aware of that going in, but I thought it wouldn’t be a problem for me because I can be pretty responsible and I also don’t tend to stress out about cleanliness in general the way many do. However, being vigilant about my health requires a lot of work (boiling /and/ filtering water for example). Even if that isn’t a lot for me to handle, it’s a lot to ask of my host mom. For a while I felt pretty discouraged by the challenge and the potential cultural pitfalls. However, after talking with other volunteers I did feel encouraged that sharing the things I learn about health with my family could be beneficial for them. Commiserating in general was beneficial.

We did finally get our cellphones (email me if you want to spend your $$ calling and texting me!). Setting up communication has taken longer than I thought, but I think I’m on the road to success. Heidi said that she found a cyber café close to our houses, and I am seriously considering buying an internet key. Many volunteers have settled with telling their families that ‘no news is good news’ and seem to feel like a little space while they adjust is best. I can certainly sympathize when there is so much to take in and learn and adjust to here around us. However (and I know many volunteers feel this way too), I made a commitment to stay in touch with the people back home. I want you all to get to share in this experience, and I want to know what’s going on State side, especially with my family. Again, I know this has been a little bit of a bumpy start, but that’s a commitment I’m  still taking seriously.

Back to the day: Somewhere towards the end of the lectures there was a somewhat random announcement, “Oh, and your bikes are here!” We are all grateful for the transportation option. However, this was inconvenient for most of us who weren’t intending to bike home. In many cases, including mine,  we aren’t exactly sure of where we live yet, (if you remember me saying I wasn’t really sure what street I lived on in Hawaii, this is strikingly similar). Heidi and I had planned to get a ride home from my host papa. In then end, I did call him (on my cellphone!) and when he came to pick us up, he recommended that we ride behind the car, so he could lead us home. Heidi and I both looked at each other, and with a mix of excitement and intimidation said, “Ok!”

Oh man, riding on the streets of Proto Novo. It was of course crazy, and exhausting, I came home with a throat caked in sand, and most of the time I was half wondering what we would do if we lost track of my host papa. But it was also so great. It turns out that because there aren’t many rules of the road in Benin (and all manor of vehilcles) and because the roads aren’t in great condition anyway, people are pretty cool on the road. I think everyone just sort of expects everyone else to do something dumb, in which case you will just go around them. The road was like a river and we seemed to be carried along in the current, intertwined with Zemis (the word for motorcycle) and cars, and people. No one can go very fast. I’d be surprised if I’ve traveled faster than 30 mph since arriving here. So even though Heidi and I certainly were passed often, it wasn’t the whooshing beeping hurry you would expect in the United States. I definitely was mostly, focusing on the road, then thinking about how thirsty I was, and then glowing with how awesome it was to be immersed in the traffic in Benin.

:)

Thanks for reading!
Lauren

June 2nd

** I wrote this post on Monday, June 2nd**

Hi everyone,

I am starting my first full week with the host family! I do hope that internet capacity will improve in the near future, but I wonder if my need to blog is going to stay as strong now that I am starting to settle into a pattern of life. If you email me your questions, when I get them I will try to answer them in the blog if possible.

Today I had French class all day with Heidi, my fellow Peace Corps Trainee (PCT) and Aurliene (Oh–RELL-ee-ehn), our Beninese facilitator.  Today we actually had class at my host families house. I haven’t gotten a full tour of the house exactly, but I think the structure has two or three houses joined together and in the center is a garage area with chalkboards, a desk and good lighting. I guess there are kids that have classes there, but I didn’t really get to ask. Before lunch, we took a break from work in the classroom and walked around the neighborhood a little. It’s mostly residential, with dirt roads and walls encasing the houses (lots of plants on the sides of the road though!). We got to talk pretty extensively with one student in the area who was grabbing some late breakfast at a roadside restaurant. It turned out that she is the host sister of another PCT Sarah! We talked for a while about Beninese and American culture. She was very kind to be so interested. I felt rude interrupting her meal, but she didn’t seem to mind. It was really nice to get out and walk around the neighborhood a little, especially with the insight of Aurelian. That was another example of the Peace Corps gradually introducing us to our work environment. (I know not all volunteers have had such a nice gradual introduction. Some had to find a motorcycle taxi and bargain a price after the first day of French class. All I can say is, for me it’s been smooth so far, and I ain’t complaining!)

We had an hour lunch break and I got to help my host mama prepare lunch by cutting tomatoes. It was really nice to be helpful and get to do a tiny bit of cooking. Lunch was sort of a potato salad, with boiled potatoes, hard boiled egg, raw onion and tomato all chopped and stirred in with a mixture of hard boiled egg yolk and water. I really enjoyed it.

Afternoon class was good but afterwards I was sure I wanted to rest for a while. Normally I really try to be out in the living room with the kids. I was told that in Beninese culture privacy can come off as rude. However, I knew that the family had been trained that Americans like privacy, and they have been really respectful of my space. I put on some American music (the Weepies, given to me by a fellow PCT) and rested and journaled for a while.

After that I tried to do a little exercise. All this sitting in class and eating white grains is not conducive to an atheletic farmer physique. When that got too hot, I hung out for the kids for while. Dinner was pate rouge, a dish composed of cornflower, tomatoes, and spicy piments. After dinner I sat in the living room with everyone watching TV and doing some knitting. It was fun to talk with my host parents about knitting and sewing a little bit. It turns out that my host mama actually has a sewing machine, but it has fallen into disuse. I think there is some potential for fun there, but everything doesn’t have to happen in one day.

I think that’s all for right now. I’m pretty tired, so I’m going to call it a night.

Sweet Dreams America!

With love,

Lauren

Dimanche! Sunday!

** I wrote this post on Sunday, July 1**

Dimanche! Sunday!

I has been one week since I left home and it feels like a month! So much has happened, and I’ve had so much to process. Legal paperwork and finding dinner in Philadelphia, making 60 new friends (go ahead and quiz me on the names, I got ‘em!), coming to new country, packing unpacking, repacking, and of course, meeting my new host family.

I know that every week won’t feel like a month, but it does make me think just a tiny bit about how long I’m going to be here for. In general, I have been trusting the peace corps to look at the big picture and I have just been focusing on the day at hand. That works pretty well. As far as I can see, the peace corps has a really good plan for immersing the volunteer in their culture and work. And the cross-cultural training (for me, and my host family) seems pretty excellent. All the same, it’s easy to take for granted what a crazy 2 years this is going to be.

And all that on top of the fact that today was a kind of big day. I was with the host family (and no other volunteers) for the whole day. I thought it was going to be a pretty slow day. The Mama told me that she was not going to the market, and probably not church because (as I understood it) the kids needed to go somewhere at 9 am. This morning I realized that we were /all/ going to a party for the first communion of my host papa’s nephew, Richard. It was quite an experience.

Getting to the house took a while on the bumpy suburban dirt roads. When we did reach the house where the party would take place I elected to go with a few others in the car to the church. The Church was a large cross-shaped structure made out of concrete, with no windows. I’ve seen a few buildings like this and wondered if funding was cut. In this case though, the lack of windows probably is good for ventilation and helps the people who are in over-flow seating, which is where we were.

After asking someone nearby, we found out that communion had already happened. That was ok, because it was really fun to watch the kids play, and look at all of the beautiful outfits. People were also fairly interested to see me. Adults were actually more polite than I expected, I didn’t get any surprised or confused looks from them. The kids however, were very curious. The older ones would sort of walk past casually, and sometimes wave. At separate times least two little ones, probably around three, slowly walked up and touched me on the arm or hand. I smiled and would mimic them a little bit (touching their opposite arm for example). When it was all too much to take in they would wander off again. I noticed that when I was in the car people felt more free to stare then when I was at the church, and in a big group at the church people felt more free to stare than when I was at the party. An interesting social tidbit.

The party itself was pretty great. And considering the plethora of cultural assumption associated with communion party (and it’s more than the expectations eating breakfast, if you read Saturday’s post) I think it went very well! In general the music was loud and I sort of stayed where I was invited to sit and kids and adults and sports on TV came and went. I ate shortly after returning from the church. I had chopped up potatoes, carrots, peas, and hot dog bits in a tasty cream sauce. After that, huge amounts of rice were offered, but I declined. I did have a successful conversation the Mama hosting about the recipe for the dish mentioned, and it all seemed good. The first day or two I had tried hard to eat everything that was offered, but let me tell you, it is a lot of rice, and pasta and bread. Oy! When we drove home my eating choices were mentioned to the papa. He told me what I had was just the appetizer! Woops! So, I know you get to say ‘no’ every once in a while, but I feel like I used up a bigger ‘no’ then I thought I did there.

Since it’s been a week, and we are one the topic of food, I’ll give a quick note one general wellness (for my mom at the very least). Things are good. In general, I have liked all the food I’ve tried, the portions of carbs are just getting daunting. I will probably be able to talk with my facilitator-person about that tomorrow. It has been a little overcast (and I’ve generally been in doors) so the sun hasn’t been a problem. In general the temperature is either comfortable, or a little warm, but not bad at all. The humidity isn’t bad either. It took me about a week to get used to it in Hawaii, and it seems to be the same here. No other bumps, bruises or maladies to report.

It will be null and void by the time you are reading this, but let the record show that I do feel bad that communication hasn’t been as abundant as I hoped (yet). I feel bad that there is so much to tell and I know I must not be answering all of the questions you really want to know about. When I was sitting at the party, I was struck by the thought that there is just no way my family could picture exactly what I was doing, and how totally cool and ok everything is. Then again, they are smart people. I bet they have a functional idea.

Well, if you are bored of me stop reading, but if not, since I have brought it up, I will try to describe the set up for the party. We parked out front on the dirt road where there were some patches of grass and telephone poles. I don’t think that there was a little goat grazing nearby, but it’s typical enough in residential reas that you can picture one if you want to. The house is surrounded by a beige cement wall, maybe 8 or 10 feet tall. It has red metal double doors for a car and a single red metal door for people. When you walk through the door you are in the courtyard. There is reddish sandy dirt on the ground (like out on the road). To the left there is a shaded area, almost like a gazebo with plastic chairs. To the right there are more tables and chairs set up. In front of you is the house. Between the house and the gazebo-like area there is an area with a a tin or plastic roof where maybe 5 women, at least one with a baby one here back are sitting, talking and cooking. If you continue to the house, it was a small patio and then a door into the living room area. Both the door and the living room have grey tile on the floor. Many children take off their shoes, but most adults just wipe most of the sand off on a matt. The walls of the living room are a bright teal. In front of you is a doorway covered my a sheet, on the left there are some couches in a circle, on the right, more couches in a U shape with a TV and sound system against the far wall. In this case, both are looking a little worse for the wear. There is a window on the far right wall and propped up above the window there are framed pictures of the mother, father, and also Jesus. There are similar pictures in the living room of my host family. When I first glanced at the most prominent picture, I thought it must be a deceased family member, but then I realized that it was the host papa in slightly younger days.

That brings me to one other funny thing. I didn’t bring my camera to this event. But one of the mothers/aunts brought hers! So the first cross cultural pictures I took in Benin were ones solicited by the family hosting the party! And yes, people were still disinclined to smile.

Well I sincerely hope that this has been edifying, and maybe even entertaining. I do think of you guys back home  all the time, and I want to share this stuff with you as best I can!

With love,

Lauren

P. S. Mom, I hope you got to take the first paperclip off the chain!

** I wrote this post on Saturday, June 30th**


 

Hello Everyone!

Happy weekend! My first full day with the host family has been really good one. As I got ready for my half day of French class I felt prepared for the class, but not for breakfast. Mama and Pap had already eaten, and the kids hadn’t yet, so I ate a lone while the kids watched me and sometimes offered helpful advice. How do you open the can of Nescafe? Do you just tear off a piece of the bread? What do you scoop the mayonnaise with? It’s incredible how many questions a daily activity can generate. However, both the kids and the parents were helpful, and did seem to resist the urge to laugh at me.

I was given a ride to school by Heidi’s host papa. She is a fellow Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) with whom I share a French class, and amazingly, she is also my neighbor. French class was pretty intense, but I can see that it will be really helpful. It’s just Heidi and I in the class, but today, many Peace Corps French classes met at the same Beninese school. It was good to get to swap stories and see people.

We only had a half day of class so at noon we called my host papa on our teacher’s cellphone, and he picked us up. Many students had to catch a Zemi, the motorcycle which is the most common transportation, so Heidi and I are feeling very lucky.

Throughout the afternoon and evening I played with the kids. I found out the two girls are 11 and 9 and the boys are younger than them. I mostly played with the girls. I observed some of their chores and set up the water filter the Peace Corps gave me, we watched some TV, and I drew some pictures and they told me the words in French.

Getting to know the family and my Beninese instructors has been a great experience. I will admit something in hopes that you can relate. When I was seeing pictures of Benin, it was hard not to find the people a little intimidating. Most people in the pictures looked very different than my friends and family. And in addition to that it seems to be in Beninese culture not to smile for pictures. In fact, in the picture I got of my host family they all have confused scowls on their faces. But in fact, my host family is very generous and considerate, very interested in me, and very good natured. When I observe someone first hand, hear their voice, see how naturally a smile springs to their face, and understand the words they are saying, I really am struck by how similar we all are the whole world over. And with regards to my host family in particular, I am also impressed by many of their not-so-third-world items and attributes. There is a big TV in the living room which is usually switching between Beninese news and African Music videos. Indoor plumbing and electricity, and of course the Mazda in the drive way.

Being in Benin has reminded me a lot of being in Jordan. This is probably helpful because when I was in Jordan, I wasn’t there to fix problems, I was there pilgrimaging/studying their archeological sites. I think that successful experience has facilitated an extra measure of calmness and respect for Beninese culture.

Before I wind down this post, I am sorry communication hasn’t been as consistent as I hoped. On Monday I will a cellphone, and I hear you can get some internet set up through that. Who knows, maybe that’s how this post will eventually reach you!

Anyway, I am thinking of you guys back at home all the time, and things here are great.

Love,

Lauren

First Day with my host family

**I wrote this post on Friday, June 29th**

 

First Day with my host family

Today was one of the days that I have been most nervous about: the day we all met our host families. I have got to say, it’s been so great!

In the morning we packed up our stuff at St.Jean Eudes dormitory/hotel/compound (I never quite figured that out) and went to the Peace Corps base in Cotonou. After an introduction to what French class will be like over the next three weeks, we loaded onto the buses and drove to Cotonou.

When we got there we were supposed to find our family, based on a picture we had gotten earlier. My family seemed to have a Mom, Dad, an older girl (maybe an aunt? Maybe a sister? It was hard to tell) and then a girl and two boys under the age of 12. I was having a difficult time finding them, but didn’t feel too bad, because I was seeing equally confused expressions on the faces of the Beninese host families. Finally I found my host papa and he greeted me with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek. From that moment, through the rest of the day, the family has been so generous, understanding, and enthusiastic.

After meeting a host family we had to sit through a few speeches about how great this Volunteer-hosting is (I was pretty sold, who am I kidding). Afterwards we were supposed to meet up with our French teachers. I explained to my host papa that I had not met my French teacher yet. He went up to /my/ Peace Corps schedule coordinator to explain to her the problem! I thought that was very kind.

When we got to the house they showed me to my lovely room with light blue walls and (wait for it) my own bathroom! I never expected to have my own bathroom and was a little worried about the politics of sharing an outhouse with family members. Clearly my expectations were way low. I have my own room with a locked door in addition to a locked safe box (apparently the Beninese are really into locking things, so this isn’t offensive). And yeah, I have my own private bathroom!

As the family showed me the room my host papa told me ‘we had this double bed, but the peace corps said only a single for one person, so I hope this is ok’. They had bought a single mattress and put it on top of the double mattress!

The kids are pretty bashful around me, but they seem really sweet. I’m excited to get to know them better. My host mama talks a little fast for me at this point, so I haven’t gotten to know her as well but she has been so genially kind, welcoming and hospitable, I am pretty excited to work my way into cooking and working with her.

Oh, they also have a wonderful air conditioned car in a world of motorbikes, and so does their neighbor who is hosting my classmate, Heidi. So it’s been a pretty great soft landing for me. I’m feeling really lucky and really excited. As we were driving from the big meet and greet to the host house, I couldn’t help smiling to myself. I am moving into Benin. And so far, it has been all of the wonderful different yet familiar adventure I could have dared hope that it would be. 

I am having the adventure of a life time and I am loving it.

With love,

Lauren

at my desk for orientation